presto, duckie, noodle, HEY!
this morning i came to terms with something that has been brewing under the surface for quite a while. i love mr. noodle. i love his putty knees and his curly wig and his giant nostrils and his remorse and his introspection. and i want him to love me back.i have a history of fierce and burning crushes. ask around, but i'm pretty sure it's a scorpionic tendency. my first had to have been bastian from "the neverending story". ahhhhhh barret oliver. where are you now?
i know where he is. he's teaching photography at UC Irvine. and why do i know that? i googled him a few weeks ago, because my heart leaps to my throat each time he wakes up with a start in the opening scene. and when at last, he dares to "do what I dream!," i weep for joy that my childhood sweetheart, so deep and so strong, will realize his potential.
he was the beginning of a long career of attraction to underdogs. elliot with his doe-eyes. waxin' for daniel-son. and, oh, sweet zombie jesus when duckie sings otis, i'm pink all over. that skinny redheaded whore doesn't deserve him anyway. you know it, i know it. EVERYBODY knows it. so why's he still chasing skirt?
the worst, by far, was the boy who could fly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boy_Who_Could_Fly
jay underwood pretty much could call me up and i'd probably leave my family for him, just like that. ooooo, and the 21 jump street that he was on... johnny depp and jay underwood, together at last.
i've never been limited to live action, either. i remain indignant that after presto pulls something immensely useful out of thin air twenty billion times, the rest of the dungeons&dragons crew still roll their eyes when he says that he'll fix things. he just needs a woman who'll appreciate what he has to offer. i think it's sam cooke who dares his wife to throw him out and see how long it takes before another woman snatches him up. hmph. what about prince lear? i mean, he can't sing, but he can write beautiful poetry, and that "unicorn" or whoever she is just USES him. a girl stays human for a man like that, i'm telling you, even if her body is dying all around her.
and on that note... just who IS this miss noodle? yes, the muppets involved would have us believe that she is his sister, but i saw her trying to dance with him, and there is just a little too much tension, if you know what i mean. and she's all trying to impress him with her shiny coiffure and her jaw-buster smile. he hates her, i can tell he does. but a man has needs, and i know that even the best of them will stoop to the level of a common floozy if she throws herself at them enough times.
hey, i'm not gratuitously jealous. i actually liked milly, who the flying boy loved. if she's worth it, then he has my blessing. andie was not worth it. annie potts would have been worth it. and, if you'll recall, she knew what duckie was worth, too.
i swear- i'm not ovulating.
posted by hobbledog @ 2:40 PM
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