I am such a sucker for these things
Instead of playing it cool, and waiting a reasonable amount of time before begrudgingly accepting my tag and illuminating the world with 5 little known things about me, I'm gonna bust into this as fast as I can. Partly this is because I'm a sucker, and partly this is because my wee babe is sleeping and my kiddo is watching the brain drain.Hooray!
1. When I was in the second grade I discovered that if you put a note in the guidance counselor's box you would get called out of class (usually math) to go discuss your "problem." I was not a fan of math, so I began to write a series of letters about various "problems" I was having. I managed to escape math at least once a week until I went waaaay overboard and wrote a note about how I thought my parents were monsters. Now, to clarify, when I say "monsters" I mean I fantasized that when I went to bed at night my parents would rip off their human faces and watch TV and iron as the true lizard-faced monster/aliens that they were. I expected that at my 10th birthday I'd be shown how to rip off my own face to reveal my own lizard face. Cool! I didn't really elaborate about all of that to the guidance counselor, though, and she called my mom to come in for a talk. "Why would Kari think her parents are monsters?" went the line of questioning and holy shit my mom lost it. She cried all the way home in a way that only a crushed mama can. I explained my line of thinking to her (and my desire to skip math class) and things were eventually OK. I never went to see the guidance counselor again, and I got much better at multiplication.
2. I smell books before reading them.
3. I have a tooth on the bottom row that's behind all the other teeth. It's in a really funky, ugly place and pokes me in the tongue. I call it Ishmael (which means "outcast"). Sometimes I'll be eating and find myself muttering things like,"Ishmael doesn't like egg salad sandwiches" and "Corn on the cob hurts Ishmael."
4. I have never smoked a cigarette or been stung by a bee.
5. In middle school I pretended to have a crush on Nick from Duran Duran, but I really had a crush on Miss Susan, my sister's dance teacher. She had the best red hair ever. And Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. Rawr.
posted by haikumama @ 2:08 PM
1 Comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Ishmael will rise up and take over!
holy shit, and damn you for being so funny.
XO
Kim
Post a Comment
<< Home