cloudson the mornings i wake up and there is no intense sun jetting through the tiny crack allowed by my curtains, my heart leaps. maybe it will rain!!!! i always play this game with myself, excitement and anticipation. maybe i feel like the rain will wash away sins, maybe it's a diversion, maybe things will cool off, maybe the grass will grow, maybe my boy will want to go puddle-diving with me and a rainbow umbrella.
but i should know by now that the clouds over austin are pregnant, overdue, and that they usually have stillbirths.
like i said to my dear friend, though, the green is greener. what am i to make of that? where are we in all of it? there is beauty even in an aborted promise of the sky and there is respite in our smallness as we shake our meager fists at it.
today feels heavy, laden, blancing on a razor's edge: morosity on one side, ecstasy on the other. maybe today i will shut off my central processing unit and become a vehicle for sensory input. tiny arms wrapped around my neck, hot bitter liquid rolling down my throat, rumbling clothes dryer, a few withered leaves hiding among the turgid ones, beads of sweat sussed out of my pores in a diffusive scramble to get where the party's at.
a beeping when it backs up.
all mundane, but all sparkly 'cause it all keeps being made of molecules.
posted by hobbledog @ 12:31 PM